I Shall Be Cleansed

Okay, so what was it....a month ago, I was complaining about being fat? Something like that.

Normally, I am a complain--&do-no-action kind of person, but I kind of felt like I was at a point, seriously, no joke here, where either I need to do something now, or wait til I'm big enough to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser. Silly, right?

But lest you think I just decided I was fat and have done nothing, here's the update.

First let me say, I appreciated all the advice & encouragement. At first, I'll admit I was taken aback by the dissertation length comments....not offended, taken aback. But then I remembered, duh, Katie, you asked for suggestions. (!!!)

I almost immediately decided that I wanted to do a cleanse. I really feel like its an obvious decision to do a cleanse of some sort because after 26 1/2 years of poor treatment and a "garbage-in" mentality, why WOULD my body be prepared to enter an exercise regimen and shed tons of weight? It just isn't logical. After lots of research, decided to go with the Standard Process Purification.  I enlisted two friends to be my accomplices, as I knew doing this program alone was a bad bad idea. And now, I know for a fact, it definitely would've been a poor choice.

So...because I'm bad blogger these days, here's the skinny. Today is day 9 of our cleanse.
For the first 10 days, the only foods we are allowed to eat are fruits and vegetables, and no, potatos and corn are not vegetables. We are to take in 2x more veggies than fruit and preferably more raw than cooked. Whewwww! Along with the fruit & veggies, we are taking supplements{that are full of whole foods like kale, beet root, juniper berry, etc} that help to detox our body and drink 2-3 protein/cleanse shakes per day.

After day 10 of the cleanse, we get to add 3oz of lean protein {fish or chicken} per day, plus 1/2 cup of either wild or brown rice or lentils. Along with taking in 64oz of spring water per day, and in 21 days our insides should be spic n' span.

This is EASILY the most difficult thing I have ever put myself through. Childbirth didn't last 21 days, and my husband didn't eat homemade pizza in front of me while I was giving birth.  Either time. HOWEVER, because this entire endeavor is intended to be results oriented, and not just a 'fun thing to do', I will glllllladly share with you my results that I recorded after 7 days on the cleanse.

Drumrollllllllllllllllll............in 7 days, I have lost 5lbs and 9 {NINE} Inches!!!!! I can definitely feel the inches gone, especially the other day when I put on a jacket that I haven't worn comfortably for months because it didn't come together.

If you're thinking about doing a cleanse of some sort....I would highly recommend it--it's soooooo easy, especially when your family is eating enchiladas, or pizza, or cinnamon rolls, or goodies from a church dinner or......steak. Even a turkey sandwich. It's especially easy if you're a food blog addict like me ;)

I'm Fat Tuesday

You don't need to try to talk me out of it...

NO patronizing needed here.

Facts are facts, and the first step is admitting it.

I've never recognized myself as "skinny".
Until years after the fact, looking back at pictures and thinking...
"Wow! I was skinny....too bad I didn't appreciate it then!"
It's the weight gain in the face that kills me....or more, repulses me.

Giving birth and the busy lifestyle that commences after said birth giving have started to really catch up with me.
Along with multiple holiday seasons of not caring...
and multiple years of making excuses.

My "ideal" weight for myself has shifted.
What I used to think was satisfactory, I now consider a dream.

I have a few hang ups and a few ideas--I am open to all most some suggestions.

Hang Up #1.
I used to rather workout than diet. I hate to diet, but now...being so out of shape, I hate working out just as much.

Hang Up #2.
Joining a gym is truly a waste of money for me. There simply is not time in my day.
I know, I know, Bob & Jillian would refute such a story, but I would challenge them with my calendar. Working out somewhere besides my house isn't possible.

Hang Up #3.
I LOVE to eat.
I've definitely not mastered the whole "eat to live" not "live to eat" thing.
Food is fun, food is hanging with friends.
Food is not plain grilled chicken and broccoli.
This makes Katie eat post dinnertime "snacks" like...Dairy Queen.

Hang Up #4.
"Diet food".
The more I learn about the way we manufacture food, the harder 'diet food' becomes.
Finding out that 'Fat Free' and 'Sugar Free' & 'Calorie Free' or 'Light' or 'Diet' aren't actually good for me, but actually QUITE bad for me.
Lame.

Hang Up #5.
The If & When Factor.
IF we have another baby, then I will have to do this entire song and dance alllll over again. I'm not really into redundancy.
And how annoying to get my stomach in the best shape of its exisistance only to stretch it to kingdom come all over again?!

Okay, enough excuses.
Here are my own suggestions for myself.

:: p90x.....anyone?? I know all the rage right now is Zumba...It's just so new that I'd like to try something more proven, with a little more staying power.

:: Clean Eating. Have you heard of it? Pretty sure I could not sustain this long term, but it's a nice idea, right?? Or there's Low-Carb/No-Carb  or Dr. Oz's 17 Day Diet.

:: A Kickoff Cleanse of some kind. Preferably not longer than 14 days, and preferably not $500. No doubt there is plenty of crud that my body could just stand to get rid of.

.....as I try to think of more ideas, all I can think of is excuses.

Like yesterday, when I was eating my Turkey sandwich at lunch, I choked. HARD.
So hard, that I had a terrible cough and an even worse headache the rest of the day.

If that's not a sign, I don't know what is.... ;)

Why I Hate Dieting & Exercise

I had thought about following in the steps of the great Jimmy Fallon & doing a Pro's & Con's segment....{I'll let you search for those segments of his on your own...The Wimbledon one is especially hilarious, but the last, slightly off-colored joke prevented me from publishing it on my post}....

However as I began to gather my thoughts.....I found that I only could think of CONS....

Blast! 

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So I give you......why I hate Diet & Exercise, Edition 1.

1.  Pain & Sweating. I dislike both. I really and truly do.
2. Self Deprivation.  Most people who are good at this would probably call it Self-Control....and I'm not good at either.
3. The Realization that it is a Journey not a Destination. If only I could 'get skinny' and then go back to life as it was at one time.....no..not quite how that works is it? You have to continue to deprive, and sweat. Sounds like fun, no?!
4. The Looming Possibility of Future pregnancy. Why on earth would I torture myself to get into "shape" that I will lose again the minute the pee stick has a plus sign?! I know there are some ladies who run & jog their entire pregnancies...you're not looking at one of them. My pregnancy goals are to get plenty of extra rest and eat for 2.....or 3. Welcome to my problem.
5. The Reality that my 'body' may never be as it was before. And judging from the twin pregnancy stretch marks, that is a realistic possibility.  So much of me would rather live in denial that I 'could' if I wanted to...rather than find out that I can't.
6. Factors "Outside" of my Control. Last fall I had a wellness screening at my husband's work, and my Thyroid reading was high. Which I figured meant hyper-thyroid....which is often the culprit for the inability to gain weight. This not being my problem, but rather the opposite, I did not further investigate. A couple of weeks ago I had the same test done for the 2010 year, my thyroid still being high, I called the nurse to talk with her about the comparisons between last year and this year. To my amazement, #1, not only has my thyroid number gone down to "almost normal", the test reading is actually opposite what I thought--when the TSH test reads high, it actually means Hypo-thyroid, an underworking gland that can make you retain weight and feel tired. {Yay! This is a problem I can work on fixing}
7. My "Workout Style" doesn't work with my "Life Style". Going for a jog isn't possible with 3 babies at home, unless I wanted to go at 4am, or 9pm...maybe in my younger days. OR going to a gym with scheduled workout classes like Spin or Pilates or Abs or Zumba {which I haven't, but would really LIKE to try}, again....tell me how this is practical with young children?!  My preferences really need to change. 

If you couldn't tell.....this No Pop thing is really hard for me. I'm only on DAY 4, and I cannot tell you how many times this week I have really really really craved a Fountain Pepsi....more than I can even count!  Like taste it in my mouth, feeling faint and shaky.....craaaaaaving. Clearly this is a necessary "Pepsi Cleanse". 

But with so many foods that just "pair" so nicely with Fountain Pepsi like chocolate, pizza, ice cream, .....everything....to even think to "stop and pick something up"....even SUBWAY (although they don't have Pepsi) is pretty much out of the question. 

 So this should be totally worth it....

....well, it better be, anyway.