If I were to give myself a label, I would have to say that I'm pretty average. Typical. Normal. Predictable. Maybe even 'Dime a dozen.'
What I mean is, I'm not the only one like me.
More specifically, I'm not the only wife like me.
I think my husband would beg the differ,
but mostly that's because he has to.
{And I mean no offense by that}
Maybe I'm the only one, but as I've mentioned before, I struggle with a critical spirit.
I am going to go out on a limb and say this is something many women, many wives struggle with, please don't misunderstand me, I'm not passing judgement, just standing along side, because I am SO a guilty party. Totally guilty.
If ever there were something in my husband that were wrong,
I knew it.
If ever there were something wrong in Jesse that he DID,
I told him about it.
If ever there were something that he SAID wrong,
I reminded him of it.
If ever there is something to criticize....I am. on. it.
Critical. Nagging. Condemning. Unkind.
As mentioned a week or two ago, I've been going through this study. And let me tell ya...it has been a swift kick in the pants, through each paragraph.
Each paragraph more and more humbling, more convicting...
and then THE quote that hit me like a bomb at Pearl Harbor.....
"No man has ever crawled out from under his wife's criticism to be a better man--no matter how justified her condemnation."
Well then. {Umm...ouch}
You mean I'm not bettering my marriage by nagging Jesse? By criticizing him?
You mean I'm not bettering my marriage by nagging Jesse? By criticizing him?
But I'M RIGHT...
"no matter HOW justified the condemnation."
Do I want Jesse to be a better man? Of course.
Sometimes I even have decent intentions with my criticism. I don't MEAN to tear him limb from limb, but my words aren't necessarily loving, honoring, or respecting...
I think I remember something about loving....
..honoring...respecting...hmm...wedding vows?
Funny how those really apply to the trenches of every day life, huh?
instead...
"...pray that you can remind him of the loveliness and beauty that first attracted him to you....He needs to hear gladness and appreciation in your voice, even when you talk about everyday things."
13 comments:
Thank you. What an encouraging post and warning of how quickly we can hurt someone with our words.
Is anyone borrowing that book when you are done?=:) It sounds like something I could really learn from!
Ouch! I, too, am guilty (as charged) Thank you, for the reminder. And, congratulations for learning this at an early age and juncture in your marriage.
Oh my! This post hit hard. I needed this 'friendly' reminder.
Sounds like a good book! It's hard sometimes to remember the "in love" part of "speaking the truth".
Thanks for posting these. We all need reminders!!!
Your honesty is very refreshing!! And yes,I think we can ALL relate to what you are saying!
That quote was so enlightening... good stuff!!
Oh, I think about this alot. I try so hard to speak with love and affirmation, but then something creeps in that he SHOULD JUST KNOW how to do the right way. And it gets tougher. Working on it is good :)
Oh, lordy. . .I did some major criticizing last night & am now feeling majorly guilty. Think I'll shoot him an email and apologize.
Thanks for this! What is the book called that you are reading?
-Tiff
Tiff- It's called 'Created to be his Helpmeet' by Debi Pearl--she's quite conservative, but has loads of good good principles.
Right after I posted this morning, I realized Jesse didn't do something that I asked him to last night and I was sooooo tempted to shoot him a nasty text message and then I was like.....DOH. That's a bad idea. It's all of us, Tiff :)
Don't you just want to rip pages out of that book and hang them in places you'll see all.the.time! That's totally one of my favorite parts and it comes to mind a lot... :)
Love this - thanks for sharing!
Thanks for being so open & sharing your heart. This is truly an area of struggle for me too. Many conviting quotes today!
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