When Hayden cries out in pain.....a little part of me cries.
When he gets embarassed.....I cringe for him, and remember embarassment.
I hold my breath and look for signs of breathing everytime I watch Owen & Silas sleep.
What if....
When Owen's cough gets hoarse, I wonder....did we make the right decision?
Does he have a sore throat?
I read symptom checker {dot} com and wonder about them instead of me.
What if....H1N1 or a broken bone or SIDS or a bloody lip.....
my heart skips a thousand beats.
One baby, I could handle, and control....
...and keep safe at all times.
3 babies surround me and require more sets of hands than I have.
And I lose the sense and feeling that I am in control and in charge.
They say that having a child is like having your heart walk around outside of your body...
And as days pass, I see more and more truth in that statement.
And I forget that those boys are not MINE...
But a precious gift 'on loan' to us from our Heavenly Father.
Psalm 139: 16 "Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began."
I no longer am able to read this verse and simply think of myself,
but for those beautiful boys that He has given us....
but for those beautiful boys that He has given us....
Giving over my own life to God was hard enough....
but giving Him my babies' lives....
Well....I'm still working on that.
11 comments:
Motherhood... it makes the joys even greater and the sad times harder. *sigh*
Again, your boys are precious!
I couldn't agree with you more, Katie...
I'm with you 100%.
So true! The key thing to remember is that you AREN'T in control or in charge. Also know that God chose you to be their parents. He knew you were the best mom for those three precious babies.
great post and great reminder.
my older girls are 10 & 9 ..... i still catch myself watching closely for that breath when they sleep.
I can totally relate...
Good, good stuff Katie! I needed this reminder.
Great post, I totally get you on this. The only thing that helps me is remembering He does a much better job of taking care of her than I do! :)
This is something I have a hard time remembering as well. Thanks for the reminder!
And I wonder if we ever stop watching for them to breathe in the middle of the night?
-Tiff
This motherhood gig is a tough one! No matter what age your kids are, this is a very needed reminder.
I *completely* understand! I still feel like I surrender that control (that I never really had--especially after the boys were born) to God everyday! BUT when I do surrender my controlling heart to Him, it's filled with the most wonderful peace! Nothing is going to happen to my babies that isn't already written into God's sovereign plan for my life...to make HIM look good!
Hi! Just found your blog through Wendi's (Everyday Miracles) and just wanted to say that I love this post - it is exactly what I am learning right now, too. I am a new mom, and learning to trust God with my baby has been more of a challenge that I thought. Thanks for sharing - your children are so precious!
Post a Comment